As we get older in life, as we gain more and more experience in life, have more relationships, sex, jobs, deaths, melodrama, drama, etc., it can be very easy to catch yourself sitting back and reflecting too much on what it all means. Sometimes i catch myself sitting back with a scotch on the rocks, enjoying a few puffs on a cigerello, thinking about some young philly that got away from me, or that i tossed aside after ravaging her tight young body, and i think, hmmn, what does all this mean? Should i have done something to keep one of those around, maybe not tossed that one aside? What would my life be like if i hadn’t? What if i was wrong about that one girl? Maybe i was over reacting at that girls crass behaviour, in-appropriate comments post-coital cuddling - maybe i’m too picky, or just do like sex too much with different girls?

Sometimes it’s good to reflect on one’s life, other times, if you catch yourself reflecting too much, it can send you into a out of control nose dive into second guessing your current position in life, and your future actions. Granted, as a writer and philosopher, i tend to think about things too much. The reason i write, is to get these thoughts out, if they rattle around in my head too much with out expression, they start to wear down my sanity defenses. If i’m not writing, i’m going crazy. It happens a lot when i’m in a LTR, as i usually can never get alone time enough to write when there’s a girl constantly around me.

For me it’s a good/evil thing – if i don’t have time alone in order to sort out my thoughts then i start going a bit crazy, i get very moody and testy – of course the same can be said when i haven’t had sex in a while (rarely happens, but it has in my years on this earth) – at the same time, if i have too much time on my hands, then i can reflect too much, think about the past too much, think about the mistakes i made and wonder why i did it.

Obviously finding the right balance is key, but really, although reflecting on the past is very important, it is also important to look forward, to move forward, with out letting things in life hold us too long in a moment. Moments are all fleeting, like a woman’s desire, no matter how long you try to hold onto them, they are gone in a flash – it’s best to focus on the next moment, and the next, otherwise you’ll be missing out on all these moments you will need to have when you’re 80, when you do have time to reflect and enjoy your life, of course that is if you don’t get Alzheimer’s.